Jun. 17th, 2017 11:42 am
turbogrrl: (Default)
[personal profile] turbogrrl
so, we've signed our life away in all varying forms; we closed on the construction loan yesterday. otoh, that means we started construction in advance of closing on the loan, which was *also* terrifying. but we are now almost three weeks or so ahead of schedule, so that is nice. I am sure we will lose that time somewhere else :)

things are fine. by which i mean, things are fine on the surface but with a chance of spontaneous superheating at any moment. congress *and* treasury are doing their level best to shut down our agency, and I really don't know how this particular game of chicken plays out. It puts me in a weird position. It is probably fairly easy for me to find another job-- even within the government, if I so choose, though the nuances of that are hard to calculate. The gov't opportunities I can more easily move to are all appropriated agencies, which would be a significant pay/benefit cut. If I just wait things out until they do a RIF, then there are procedures in place to move to other agencies while still receiving the same salary for at least a year or two (unclear that any of the additional benefits would stay, though), but who knows if those opportunities will still be available in the fall, which is when any likely RIF process would start? The flip side is that my employment is probably pretty safe-- given that I am 90% of a very senior engineer in three disciplines, there are a lot of tasks I can pivot to, unlike many of my colleagues. And then, of course, I'm not really invested in being a gov't employee. I'm nowhere near vested in the pension fund; hell, I have another year until I'm fully vested in in my TSP. I could easily just pivot back to industry. But I hate the idea of just abandoning my team, and so I haven't applied to any jobs.

And then there is the outstanding question of will we have a kid? Things have gotten more complicated in that I've finally discovered what has caused my bouts of arrhythmias over the years, and its kind of critical to the pregnancy process. Basically, elevated progesterone causes my heart to go into extended tachycardias. They first showed up a while after I had the Mirena IUD installed, which makes sense as Mirena releases small amounts of progesterone. SVTs aren't typically deadly, of course, but mine tend to last for 6-20 hours. Combined with some other things, I suspect that pregnancy could possibly be more than typically fatal for me-- maybe 10-15% chance? And I really can't decide if I care. I mean, life is ultimately fatal. And some part of me is convinced I'm never going to live in the new house, maybe this is why. On the bright side, if I got pregnant again and it killed me the house would be paid for? This is how my brain works. I spent my last SVT event just sitting up and writing my will. Which, you know, I really needed to do anyway, especially now that our financial life has gotten so complicated. I even got up and made the needed appointment with lawyers, so hooray for motivation.

Let me know if there's anything of my physical stuff you want. I suspect Nick would most likely toss most of it... well, except for the cars.
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September 2017


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