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A Salt and Battery in NYC
Jun. 4th, 2008 01:05 pmNick took me out for a little a salt and battery, and it was delicious... I wore black and blue and purple.
Whiting and chips, battered to perfection and delivered with a vaguely cockney accent. Nick had the sole. Seriously, I've never understood the whole chipper thing. But now I do.
What else did we do? I restocked on pens from Muji. mujimujimuji! I watched a guy kneel on the floor of B&H and rip several thousands of dollars of stuff out of boxes and leave a pile of packing debris all around him. He had clearly gone on the Really Big Lens ride, and wanted it in his hands right then.
...
Every time something goes wrong on a trip, I cringe and brace myself for the explosion. A lot of this stems from my father, I know, but it's had a lot of reinforcement along the way. So I get anxious and upset, even when whatever has gone wrong isn't my fault. Because clearly I should have been able to prevent it, and clearly I'll be paying for it in one way or another.
In contrast, Nick is essentially the Buddha, perplexed and vaguely amused at my sudden contortions. It takes a while, but eventually it sinks in- he's not mad at me. He's not even non-specifically angry. There is a complete absence of fury. It's... really nice.
But it certainly highlights my neuroses. I really still don't do well in crowds. crowdstrophobic, maybe? I get overwhelmed and then will just try to get out as soon as possible. This is really not useful when working with a conference, which by definition crowds a bunch of people together. It's not logical. It's not conscious. It just happens. But I'm not going to get to the bottom of it today.
I had a wonderful time while not at NOG, and that's the important thing.
Whiting and chips, battered to perfection and delivered with a vaguely cockney accent. Nick had the sole. Seriously, I've never understood the whole chipper thing. But now I do.
What else did we do? I restocked on pens from Muji. mujimujimuji! I watched a guy kneel on the floor of B&H and rip several thousands of dollars of stuff out of boxes and leave a pile of packing debris all around him. He had clearly gone on the Really Big Lens ride, and wanted it in his hands right then.
...
Every time something goes wrong on a trip, I cringe and brace myself for the explosion. A lot of this stems from my father, I know, but it's had a lot of reinforcement along the way. So I get anxious and upset, even when whatever has gone wrong isn't my fault. Because clearly I should have been able to prevent it, and clearly I'll be paying for it in one way or another.
In contrast, Nick is essentially the Buddha, perplexed and vaguely amused at my sudden contortions. It takes a while, but eventually it sinks in- he's not mad at me. He's not even non-specifically angry. There is a complete absence of fury. It's... really nice.
But it certainly highlights my neuroses. I really still don't do well in crowds. crowdstrophobic, maybe? I get overwhelmed and then will just try to get out as soon as possible. This is really not useful when working with a conference, which by definition crowds a bunch of people together. It's not logical. It's not conscious. It just happens. But I'm not going to get to the bottom of it today.
I had a wonderful time while not at NOG, and that's the important thing.
