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Tired. Boss scheduled a maint window for 3am this morning, a week ago, and couldn't understand why I was upset he hadn't even asked me first. (And a window starting at 3 means beginning prep work at 01:30.) "What difference does it make?" Well, I wasn't canceling easter, and no matter what I was going to be exhausted after I'd been standing all day cooking easter dinner and dealing with family.
[I love my family. I do.]
In the end, I didn't push back-- we had been supposed to do this weeks ago, and instead I ended up in the hospital. But being exhausted is its own punishment. The resulting outage took approximately 20 minutes longer than it should have because my brain was operating at about 40%. So, what? maybe a 60k loss at that hour? Maybe that was the best thing for the company. Who the fuck knows. It's over now. I went to bed around 6 but it was already light out and construction started up at 8. Unlike on friday, I didn't have coffee so now it's 9pm and I'm just exhausted, and depressed. I can't keep doing this. I've essentially been on-call for a week and a half (technically went off-call yesterday, but not with that maint. and I had to pre-pend my shift with a few days to pay back the guy who took over for when I was in the hospital, he had a death in the family.) In short, I just want to crawl into a hole and maybe wake up in a month or three.
[I love my family. I do.]
In the end, I didn't push back-- we had been supposed to do this weeks ago, and instead I ended up in the hospital. But being exhausted is its own punishment. The resulting outage took approximately 20 minutes longer than it should have because my brain was operating at about 40%. So, what? maybe a 60k loss at that hour? Maybe that was the best thing for the company. Who the fuck knows. It's over now. I went to bed around 6 but it was already light out and construction started up at 8. Unlike on friday, I didn't have coffee so now it's 9pm and I'm just exhausted, and depressed. I can't keep doing this. I've essentially been on-call for a week and a half (technically went off-call yesterday, but not with that maint. and I had to pre-pend my shift with a few days to pay back the guy who took over for when I was in the hospital, he had a death in the family.) In short, I just want to crawl into a hole and maybe wake up in a month or three.
