the unfairness of it all
May. 23rd, 2008 09:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
turbogrrlIt is true, life is inherently unfair. Worthy people suffer, evil prospers, war is random, and all systems are biased.
But there is another side, and it's not truth. It's excuse. "Life ain't fair, kid." It's the bully's justification to the victim, the exploiters to the exploited. It's a dog-eat-dog world, each to his own, look away, that's none of my business, not my problem.
Life is not fair. But I think that part of the human responsibility is that we try to be fair to those around us. It may be a quixotic hope of mine– I don't deny that much in human nature conspires to make such efforts laughable. But it's a choice we all have. We don't *have* to exploit every situation for our own gain. No one is demanding it, except for the human desire to be the ant on top of the dunghill.
...
And so I feel bad about school. I try to determine if my unfair advantages are balanced by my disadvantages. I try to determine if my abilities to be adult, write coherently, and be respectful are all due to my age, or if realistically, the people who are whining and cheating and doing poorly in class are the same people who whine and deflect and never do their share of the work in their later professional life, and my classes are just a mixed bag like every workplace is.
But I'm going to stand out in every class I take, and I do wonder if that is negatively impacting the people I take classes with.
Part of my frustration, of course, is that UMD just isn't a cutting-edge school. It oozes institutional complacency. I go to classes, I walk around campus, and no one is excited. There is no spark, no catalyst, no enthusiasm, no collaboration. And this long slog is agonizing without it.
Perhaps my high school chemistry teacher summed it up best:
"You know what you are? Yer strivin fer mediocrity."
But there is another side, and it's not truth. It's excuse. "Life ain't fair, kid." It's the bully's justification to the victim, the exploiters to the exploited. It's a dog-eat-dog world, each to his own, look away, that's none of my business, not my problem.
Life is not fair. But I think that part of the human responsibility is that we try to be fair to those around us. It may be a quixotic hope of mine– I don't deny that much in human nature conspires to make such efforts laughable. But it's a choice we all have. We don't *have* to exploit every situation for our own gain. No one is demanding it, except for the human desire to be the ant on top of the dunghill.
...
And so I feel bad about school. I try to determine if my unfair advantages are balanced by my disadvantages. I try to determine if my abilities to be adult, write coherently, and be respectful are all due to my age, or if realistically, the people who are whining and cheating and doing poorly in class are the same people who whine and deflect and never do their share of the work in their later professional life, and my classes are just a mixed bag like every workplace is.
But I'm going to stand out in every class I take, and I do wonder if that is negatively impacting the people I take classes with.
Part of my frustration, of course, is that UMD just isn't a cutting-edge school. It oozes institutional complacency. I go to classes, I walk around campus, and no one is excited. There is no spark, no catalyst, no enthusiasm, no collaboration. And this long slog is agonizing without it.
Perhaps my high school chemistry teacher summed it up best:
"You know what you are? Yer strivin fer mediocrity."
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-25 02:31 pm (UTC)